Sunday, August 8, 2010

Fathers Be Good To Your Daughters

I'm not much of a fan of John Mayer. I must admit, he's a talented musician. He even gets props for the skit he did with Dave Chappelle on the Chappelle Show.

But he lost it all when he made a dumb comment in Playboy. In the magazine’s Q&A published online, Mayer said he was recently asked, "What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?" He went on, "It's sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a n----r pass." Being that I hear so many young black men in Harlem overusing the term, I wasn't personally offended. Don't get me wrong, I don't condone John Mayer, or anyone for that matter, throwing N-Bombs. But, truth is the N-Word is so engraved in popular culture thanks to rappers, comedians and regular street folk. Being "black" is the in thing to be, so naturally other races are looking for their "hood" passes. I guess being black means your hood. Or is it being hood means your black?

THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT JOHN MAYER BEING RACIST. It just started that way. It is actually about a song of his that I actually like, especially now that we are having a daughter. "Daughters" by John Mayer used to be song that I thought was catchy and put college white girls in a hypnotic trance. Recently, I heard the song and it has new meaning for me. The chorus goes:

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Our children are reflections of ourselves. They unconsciously mimic our speech and mannerisms. They are like mini-mes. I am not naive to believe that my baby girl will be a baby girl forever. The way I treat women, especially her mother, is how she will want to be treated when she becomes a woman. How I love Q and how I show my love is how baby girl will want to be loved by her spouse someday. Baby girl will love how Q and I love. Children are like sponges and assimilate to their environments. I vow to show my daughter love, teach her to respect herself and make sure she knows a woman's worth.

Here's John Mayer's Daughters:
(notice the girl in the video is in a Mayer Trance)

My other inspirations. Enjoy:



  1. Just stumbled across your blog. Sending you well baby and labor thoughts! I am 32 weeks and getting anxious!

  2. Uka, you are so correct. I love how it was modeled for me to love. My parents are still married to this day 42 years and I still marvel at how my dad still loves my mother. They still sleep in an embrace after all this time. As a young girl, I watched my dad closely and expected nothing less in my relationships. Your heart is going to drop in your stomach when you meet your little girl, but always remember the best gift you can give her is a great, loving relationship with her mother.

  3. @Darcy Thank you Darcy for stopping by! Congrats on your pregnancy as well. Wishing the best =)

  4. This is a really great post. It is so true, children absorb everything around them and we influence them so much. My family never really told each other that we loved one another, I knew the love was there but it was expressed with tangible goods. I didn’t even realize it until my husband (boyfriend at the time) told me I was so cold and emotionally detached. In my mind I thought I was loving him the way I was taught to show love. Thanks to him, I am now able to express myself by simply saying I Love you and this is something that I will instill in my children when they come as well.