What a Weekend: Wellesley, Wear Orange and DanceNastics

At Boston's Wear Orange Day

This past weekend ALL the things converged! Was it like that for you too? I had 3 annual events on my calendar: Wellesley's reunion, Moms Demand Action's Wear Orange Day and my daughter's dance recital. 

It was a lot so when I woke up Sunday early evening after a 3 hour nap it truly felt like a dream that I had made it (SUCCESSFULLY!) to the other side of all of those big events.

I'm deeply affected by sunshine so when I saw the forecast called for sun all weekend here in Boston it immediately made me feel like I was one step ahead of the game!

It made all the difference...

Nia's Magazine Debut (& a MASSIVE Spring Update!)

We are hurtling towards the end of the school year (Grayson's done in 2 weeks and Nia has another 4 weeks), but in the interim I wanted to share some of the exciting things going on around here...

My 15th Wellesley College Reunion

I have an eye twitch. 

Hey June! (And HUGE BlogHer Savings)

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links.

Hooray for everyone cracking open their Mid-Year Day Designers!

I can't remember a drearier spring, but for the first day of June I'm thankful to be blessed with sunshine and blue skies here in Boston!

Reflecting on International Women's Day & A Day Without Women

Today I spent most of the afternoon back at Wellesley College and with the sunny weather nearing 60 degrees it was perfection. 

Beyond Black & White: Breaking Down the Election in 5 Points

*Due to the the unique polarization of this election and how so many marginalized members of my community and readers are adversely affected I've decided to write this post.*

Oppression is beyond black and white - there are levels to this.

What happened last week was a symptom of something that's bigger than party lines, and I've spent the days since attempting to sort it all out. I keep coming back to our basic needs as humans and what motivates us. I've appreciated the thoughtful posts immediately following the election regarding what a vote for a hate-monger stands for, but I'm thinking beyond that.

What We All Want

Early voting with my Lovebirds on October 26!

I returned from Blogalicious this past Saturday night in Atlanta, and two weeks before that I returned from W.E.L.L. Summit in New York City. These were repeat conferences for me, the former touching on blogging, and the latter touching on wellness (recaps forthcoming...). Driving home from W.E.L.L. Summit I suddenly got very emotional and started crying thinking of all the wonderful women I met and how, in the midst of so much hatred this election season (THANK GOD it's almost over), we all really want the same thing:

To live our best lives. 

New City, New Home, New Life

This post is long-overdue and as the kids and I prepare to head back to Harlem today where this blog first started, I decided it was time to share...

The Best Lipstick for Non-Lipstick Wearers

Disclosure: I received a sample as a complimentary gift from BITE; all opinions expressed are my own. 

I was back at Wellesley College over the weekend for a 2-day event, and I figured it'd be the perfect time to crack open my BITE lipstick samples I received from Influenster. I've received many samples from Influenster over the years, and I had a bit of trepidation about this one. First, I've never really been an avid lipstick fan - I feel like you have to be committed to reapplying and as I've aged and become busier with the kids it's been simpler to just throw on lip balm and go. Second, as a brown-skinned woman I was unsure that the colors would work for my skin tone. I've received lipstick samples in gift bags before and most often the colors provided are not for dark-skinned women. 

Well Amuse Bouche Lipstick from BITE Beauty has officially changed my mind! Influenster didn't require a blog post for this sample, but I was so impressed I decided to do one anyway. 

A Woman Who Will: Inspired by Madeleine Albright and Company

I had grand plans of posting yesterday but after the gorgeous weather I decided to focus on getting outdoors. I was glad I did:

My parents live in Dallas and my sisters are in New York so I couldn't help but rub in the good weather we had yesterday by texting them this:

Over the weekend I was at back on campus at my alma mater Wellesley for the Madeleine Albright Institute's Public Dialogue: "Addressing Global Inequality." Quite a topic to tackle in only 90 minutes, but my floor-mate Heather Long '04, CNN Money Senior Economy Writer and Editor, did an outstanding job moderating the panel which included Ms. Albright '59, former U.S. Secretary of State, Christine Lagarde, the managing director of the IMF, Sri Mulyani Indrawati, managing director and COO of the World Bank, and Mark Malloch-Brown, former deputy chief secretary general and chief of staff for the U.N. When I first heard about the panel I marked it down in my calendar and while Mr. Lovebird was intrigued by the panel - he did a double take when I told him the panelists (hello, Wellesley?!), he decided to sit out with the kids so I could attend. 

I arrived on campus around noon and met up with a group of alums for lunch, and when we were done we saw the hundreds in line already. It was crazy, but I knew it was going to be a large turnout. We got right up to the door and were turned away, but I pursued and an older alum and her husband whisked me in with them when about 20 seats opened up, and I literally had the last seat in the last row! 

What a view!

You can catch the recording of the event here, but I was especially struck by the remarkable questions asked by the audience during the Q & A. My ears perked up when an African student expressly asked about the bad blood between the IMF, World Bank and African nations. That had always been the sentiment I picked up going back to when I was an Economics minor at Wellesley and now being a Nigerian-American family it's especially a sensitive topic. The panelists were a bit defensive explaining that there's always two sides to every argument and that many times when no one else will assist these countries the World Bank is often to the rescue as a last resort. I'm not sure how that sat with me especially given questionable terms that have been of issue in the past. 

Alllll the zoom

Even being able to consider this and hear the public banter filled me with a desire to get back to being on top of world issues. I try to follow as much as I can but most days my mind is in the world of toddler-hood and Kindergartner issues! My mom reminds me everything goes in cycles and soon I'll be back in full swing when it comes to focusing on intellectual pursuits. 

I was renewed to be back on campus - to be in the presence of greatness as cliched as it sounds. I selected Wellesley after visiting about 5 other schools because I was astounded by the roster of alums and knowing that I truly wanted to make a difference in the world.

For now that difference is mostly with my kids, and I'm OK with that. 

Right before I left campus I was thrilled to see my longtime friend Nora and hug her neck! When we first met  she was an incoming international student from Switzerland who had never seen the campus and as an alum I picked her up from the airport and was able to show her the campus and attend a welcome lunch together. Over the years we've kept in touch via Facebook, but it had been way too long since we'd seen each other. 

While I was getting into my car to drive back to New Hampshire I was feeling a bit down that I didn't get to see Heather and commend her on her moderation of the panel. Lo and behold she was standing next to my car about to get in her own car - what are the odds? We were able to quickly catch up and take a selfie, of course:

I'm feeling refreshed now at the start of February and reminded of where I came from, just not genetically, but intellectually. At the age of 35 I've expressed before that I foresee the next 15 years as my years of greatness especially now that my childbearing time is over (Lord willing!). Being back at Wellesley has me feeling renewed for the new year, and I'm thankful to my parents especially for sacrificing for me to attend.

Why I Took My Husband's Last Name (And No, It's Not Heroic)

Growing up I loved my last name, Sloan. I was given the name Quiana Rachelle Sloan at birth, and being the nerd that I am, growing up I geeked over the fact that my initials were alphabetical. I remember getting my LL Bean backpack in middle school and wearing my initials proudly throughout my school's hallways. I hadn't given much thought to marriage and what I'd do about my last name when I got married until I attended Wellesley College. I took an anthropology class, Marriage, Women and Family, and it really opened my eyes to issues I had never considered growing up in Ohio. Sure, I went to an all girls school but as an adult at an all women's college I really felt convicted about the importance of feminism. 

Speaking of feminism . . .

I cringe when people, especially women, staunchly proclaim they are not feminists. A feminist believes that men and women are equal. I cannot fathom why anyone wouldn't want to believe this. Men and women are different, yes, but we are equal. 

Now back to my love story:

When I met my husband Uka in college and he shared his full name I was especially curious about his last name, Agbai. I didn't know where it was from so I asked. It's Nigerian, Igbo, to be exact and when we started dating in 1999 and then married in 2009 it wasn't even a discussion to be had: I knew I would become Quiana Rachelle Agbai.

Here's why:

Sloan, my maiden name, is derived from Ireland. I am of African descent and perhaps some day I'll do one of those cotton swab tests to determine exactly where (I'm obsessed with Finding Your Roots). Like most African-Americans, my ancestors in this country were slaves and Sloan came from an Irish slaveholder. While I do have ancestors of European descent who were not slaveholders, the surname Sloan in my family is from slaveholders. 

My husband's family can pinpoint exactly where in Africa they are from: Nkporo and Ohafia, Nigeria. We took our daughter there when she was 16 months, and it made me very emotional to be there and stand on the soil, breathe the air and meet my family. Even now I cry easily at the thought that my grandparents never stepped foot on African soil. It is life changing to go to Africa, regardless of your heritage.

When I got married I knew I'd want to exchange my slave name for an African name especially for my children. I knew that I'd want them to know where they are from, to appreciate their Nigerian heritage. I also knew that if I kept my surname or did a hyphenated name that the surname Sloan is ultimately from a man. For me it was never an issue of being empowered by keeping "my name" because it's still a man's name. What's more important to me is where a name comes from vs. whether it belongs to a man or woman. 

Lately, while our society is quick to describe certain celebrities as "heroes," I think it's more important to be strong in your own convictions for living the life you believe in instead of trying to be "on trend."  I applaud Zoe Saldana's husband for taking his wife's name if that's what works best for their family; it definitely opens up a conversation for people to explore marriage traditions and why we do what we do. Also, I hope never to follow something blindly without examining the underlying foundation behind it (if you're interested in learning more about marriage history I highly recommend Marriage, a History).

Here's to six years (and counting!) as Quiana Rachelle Agbai.

If you're married did you discuss your surname decision with your spouse? If you're not married yet have you considered what to do about your surname?

Last Weekend of April?

This post was started as a weekend recap early yesterday and got away from me  as everything happened in Baltimore and my spirit became worn and I literally shut down. Mr. Lovebird came home from an after-work function to find Grayson awake and I was passed out in bed.

I've since got a second wind and am eeking out this semblance of a weekly recap, but the two things on my heart in the midnight hours that I'm finishing this post are the situation in Baltimore, which is now becoming a familiar scene, as well as the tragedy in Nepal. There are times where in the midst of this blogging feels trivial but then I realize it is a platform for awareness. Each blogger's space is her own and when I see others continue to post about sunshine and rainbows without recognizing the current state of affairs in some even small way part of me gets it, but the other part of me is annoyed. 

So in response to these two issues heavily on my heart there are two ways I'm responding: 1) education and 2) donation. 

If you are confused about what's happening in Baltimore this post by Arnebya Herndon is spot on. 

If you would like to donate to the relief efforts in Nepal, here's a round-up via Time Magazine of ways to do so (thank you Erin Gates for sharing).

Now this is the recap below that I had started earlier . . .

I'm baffled! How do I officially have a 10 month old today and how is it May this upcoming weekend? I feel like I'm still waiting around for spring. It's gray and cold and I'm wondering where the sun is. Ughhh.

Thankfully, I'm heading slightly south to NYC with the kids for a few days this week and it looks like it's gonna be sunny days ahead and I'm excited to see my favorite city in full bloom. I'm hoping I can squeeze in a trip through Central Park!

Anyway, here's a quick snapshot of our last weekend of April:

I was up early on Saturday to attend my first blogging conference of 2015. It was a jam-packed day and having attended many blogging events/conferences I have to say I was quite impressed! I'm excited to be a part of the Boston blogging community.

While I was at the conference my cuties were at the YMCA's kids' day doing adorable stuff like this.

Whenever I visit Boston I love connecting with old friends including my fellow Wellesley sister who is doing outstanding things in her community. I'm so happy for her and it was great to catch up! I couldn't leave my old stomping grounds without grabbing a little snack for the road.

I have a slight addiction to mochi

I came home and swapped kid duties with Uka while he headed out and I seriously just wanted to veg on the couch. I don't even remember exactly what happened the rest of the evening!

 

Sunday up early for a little mama relaxation, but ended up falling asleep before I could get too deep into my magazine. Happens every time!

Church was a special day as we returned in the evening for dinner theater to support the youth missions. It was such a fun time - they even spoofed this video, which I couldn't believe Mr. Lovebird had never seen O_o!

Mounds of laundry still needing to be folded are up next and getting ready for NYC is always fun, but dealing with the aftermath of resettling? Not so much!

How was your weekend? How are you coping with current events?  
 


P.S. Grayson's 10 month post is up next . . .

I Won a Cruise (Again!) and It's in 30 Days!

Have you ever said, "I need a vacation!" when returning from vacation? That's exactly how I've been feeling this week. Our trip was unreal but now I'm paying for it catching up on everything and feeling exhausted in the process. It was totally worth it because while on our 7 night cruise I won another 7 night cruise!

If you've been following my blog for a while you know our very first cruise in 2013 was also one that I won courtesy of Scotch (you can see all the details here). Since that cruise Mr. Lovebird has jokingly said off and on, "How about you win another cruise?" 

My current ticker on my Galaxy S6 Edge

Well that's exactly what happened this past Friday night! There were nightly cruise trip drawings on our ship, but you had to be present to win. I'd watch each night as the prize winner would come claim it imagining how cool (yet unlikely!) it'd be that I'd win one too. Finally towards the end our cruise I was losing hope but when they kept drawing names Friday and no one came forward I began to think I just might have a chance. 

I turned to the woman next to me and pointed to myself and said, "Pick me pick me!" when they asked, "Who wants to win?"

Well after 3 or 4 names being drawn I heard, "Congrats Quiana Agbai!" I looked at Uka and smiled so big and ran to claim my prize (they were drawing names pretty rapidly, and I didn't want to delay). 

I spoke to the associate and got more details - I'm always skeptical on things like this, and it turned out there was a hitch: I could only go May 17 or May 24...THIS YEAR!

Ughhhh. So soon given the fact that we're just fresh off our cruise, but there was no way around it. 

Mr. Lovebird absolutely could not go. The cruise is on the Carnival Dream out of New Orleans and with a trip already booked May 17 and Nia's last day of school the following week - and adorable step-up ceremony - one of us has to be there. 

So . . . 

I decided I'd ask my mom to be my guest. A bonus is that I have to connect through Dallas anyway where she and my dad recently relocated to so I can literally connect with her and keep going!* I had to officially call the booking number with my prize code and when I did upon docking Sunday I was informed the cruise ship was sold out, specifically the cabin class that was my prize. 

WHAT?! I'm Miss Squeaky Wheel so I pressed on and tried a few different avenues to get a room. I thought it was a reasonable request to be upgraded but they pressed me to pay for the upgrade which would've been $800 total for me and my mom. No way! This was a prize not a bait and switch, I hoped. 

They advised me to email customer service and keep calling for a room. Well lo and behold after multiple calls a room suddenly opened and my mom and I are all set. 

Here are our ports:

Embarking out of New Orleans I wish we had more time to explore but with Uka's work schedule there is no way I can add more days. 

From there it's on to Montego Bay, Jamaica (I spent a month in Jamaica during Wintersession at Wellesley, but never visited Montego Bay so I'm super excited about this port) 

Next, it's Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands; I've never been but just seeing this is making me giddy: 

Image credit

Lastly we'll be in Cozumel, Mexico a port I visited during mine and Uka's first cruise, but it was cold and stormy (plus we had the moped debacle), so I'm hoping for better weather this time.

Now about the Carnival Dream . . .

Image Credit

Built in 2009, it's 7 years younger than the Carnival Pride, the ship we were just on, and it's jam packed with amenities. Also, it's HUGE - currently the 3rd largest of Carnival's ships. It holds 3,646 passengers compared to the Pride's 2,124. I was a bit nervous about this especially as the cruise is nearly full, but reviews say it's spacious enough that it doesn't feel crowded. We'll see...

Ultimately, I'm so excited to have an extra-special mother/daughter trip with my mom and to escape the cold again. Take a look at this morning's temperature comparison: 

Yes, this is from today, April 25, 2015 and YES, this completely justifies taking 2 cruises close together!

It'll be fun to have girls' time in the 2-level spa, the 21+ Serenity Adult Only Retreat  (unfortunately, I didn't get to go on the Pride, but I saw it from afar) and to eat my meals without being interrupted by little peoples' requests. Now, since Grayson still nurses I will be pumping on the trip, but I did on the recent cruise too and it was a cinch!

I still can't believe this is actually happening...in 30 days! It's crazy, but I'll take it. Now the tricky part is to continue to go hard on my fitness. Thankfully, I only gained 3 lbs during the cruise which given how much I ate wasn't bad. I took the stairs a lot, ate lean meals (sometimes), nursed Grayson and got in two hard cardio sessions during the week. I'm hoping I can walk off the cruise the same weight I got on. We'll see . . . 

Anyway, thank you Carnival for giving this mama a much needed vacation after a vacation!

Have you ever cruised? If you haven't, where would you want to go?
 


*P.S. My initial response upon winning and finding out Uka couldn't join me was to gift it to my parents, but the cruise is non-transferable.

Winter Warm Fuzzies From My Alma Mater

In the midst of "last chance to get it by Christmas" sales emails filling my inbox, my alma mater sent the following annual winter greeting, and it made me miss being on campus despite the harsh New England winters. My time there was so special as it is to the students in the video:

 

Winter comes to Wellesley... from Wellesley College on Vimeo.

A Lovebirds' Boston Weekend

When Mr. Lovebird declined going to his 10 year reunion earlier this year I was disappointed because I was really looking forward to revisiting Boston especially after last year's trip for my reunion was so chilly and quick. It didn't feel like the Boston I know and I wanted to see the city in the way I loved it. 

This past weekend I got that chance.

Our dear friend and fellow Wellesley sister Noelle, who shared a poem at our wedding, was married on campus and although the day was chilly, the sun poked through a few times and by the end of the day it was truly gorgeous. Yesterday, when we reunited with old friends over brunch, was even better . . .

Of course we couldn't leave BC out

We may not see each other but once a year or more, but I really appreciate my Boston friends!

We visited our friend Dr. Michelle's new apartment before heading back - Nia loved all the treats! (Her apartment is tour-worthy and a separate post is in order)

We said goodbye to Mr. Lovebird for the week who had to continue up north on business

The weekend had Mr. Lovebird and I reminiscing over all our Boston memories. We've known each other our entire adulthood - 14 years now. We feel old, but in love!

Do you ever have nostalgia moments with your partner? Any fellow college sweethearts out there?




P.S. Nia had her own "then" and "now" moment! 

Save the Date: I'm on The Chew July 9!

So the super exciting news for those of you who don't follow me on social media is that I was over at ABC Studios with Clinton Kelly filming a segment for The Chew - the foodie version of the daytime show The View.

It all happened so fast, but I had been in discussions with the show for a few weeks and just this week it all came together for me to be on. My rule of thumb in situations like this is to wait until after something happens to say that it's happened, but once the producers asked who my guest was going to be I took to my private Facebook page to share the news and to ask who would like to be my guest!

I was overwhelemed by all the congrats and support from my friends and followers - thank you!

Here are a few sneak peeks from my Dapper Dinners segment that will air on July 9 on ABC:

 

With my co-guests - there was a lot of downtime in the green room and we had fun keeping each other company!

Just my back during rehearsal (probably telling Clinton how Mr. Lovebird is also a BC Eagle and fellow Communications major!)

With my guest, fellow Wellesley '02 sister Anna J. - thank you Anna for taking pics!

**A special shout out to Teresha from Marlie and Me for bringing this opportunity to my attention!**

I'll be sure to do a reminder post before the July 9 air date!

 
 

P.S. To kick off the first day of summer be sure to come back tomorrow for a special review and giveaway. Here's a clue!