What My Husband Said When I Cut My Hair

Disclosure: I received samples to facilitate this review; all opinions expressed are my own. 

It's been a long time since I've given an update on my natural hair journey and since a major chop happened over the weekend I wanted to share more details on what's been going on. . . 

Since weaning Grayson when I went away on my cruise with my mom back at the end of May, I noticed my hair has been falling out. Like A LOT. I have a history of borderline discoid lupus which manifests itself in hair loss (more on that here) and since it's triggered by stress and I've had a lot of it over the past few months coupled with hormonal changes, my hair just hasn't been thriving. 

I got a recommendation from a fellow Wellesley alum for Simply Erinn's in Cambridge, MA and went a few weeks ago in preparation for my 35th birthday quick jaunt away as well as another commercial I was filming and while there Erinn was very honest with me and told me I needed to do a clean cut and start over. I was also concerned about my grays in the front. Now I don't think anything is wrong with gray hair, but mine is so sporadic now that when it fully grows in I'll embrace it but for now it just looks messy. 

Pre-cut wash & go with these products

I went in on Saturday for my cut and color and made it clear that I didn't want my hair too orange or too red (I CAN'T STAND that orangutan orange that seems to be running rampant!). While I typically get jet black, a color my mom wrongly thinks is too harsh, I decided to go lighter this time around. Erinn and her team did an amazing job! They evened me out, and it feels so freeing to have those awful stringy ends gone. (And I think a bunch of you agree since I got overwhelming feedback when I posted this pic to Instagram and Facebook!).

To be honest, I was a bit nervous about how Uka would respond to my hair cut. Leading up to it I had been showing him pictures from natural hair accounts on Instagram of cuts that I like so when I showed up at home and he saw my hair and burst out into the theme song from A Different World I too laughed, but took it as a good sign. Mr. Lovebird is supportive of anything that helps me feel more confident! 

From here on out I just plan on growing it and having it trimmed and colored regularly. This is definitely the shortest I've gone; prior to this cut this was the shortest (I LOVED that cut via Reggie at The Hair Lounge in NYC!). I'm taking care of my hair by adjusting my nutrition (thanks Shakeology!), continuing with PiYo at my local Y and have been consistently taking my vitamins. Since college I've taken a mix of a multi-vitamin plus something for my hair, skin and nails. I read a blurb in InStyle about models swearing by biotin and silica and the importance of taking each separately instead of rolled into a supplement so you can get the appropriate levels. While the silica brand I preferred has been discontinued I kept up with biotin although I took a break when pregnant and nursing. 

I recently gave a quick hint at another biotin supplement I was taking and since I just finished the bottle I wanted to share a bit more about it! It's Ultimate Hair, Skin & Nails by Seabuck Wonders and has omega-7 as well as biotin (5000 mcg). What attracted me to it was that it's  USDA certified organic and vegan and while I'm not vegan, the extra precaution I know that goes into the product made me trusting of it as a supplement. Just because I stopped nursing doesn't mean I'm not careful about what I put into my body! Since it has sea buckthorn oil in it, there's also the bonus of the properties that it provides:

• The berries found in the Tibetan mountain region are known for their Omega fatty acids, including the rare Omega-7 which promotes healthy and moisturized skin, hair and nails at a cellular level
• While the oil is in the capsules, it can also be purchased and applied topically, but internally it supports a healthy gastrointestinal and digestive system
• It supports proper inflammation response throughout the body and supports the body's natural lubrication system

I was provided with a 30 day supply of 60 capsules (2 per day) and while consistency is so important, I haven't noticed a visual surge of hair growth (hey I just cut it!), plus I know from my regular biotin experience that it takes about 3 months to start seeing improvement after consistent use. If I'm going to take biotin anyway, then Seabuck Wonders is an easy choice for me to make!

To learn more about Seabuck Wonders visit their website as well as follow along on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Have you ever done a drastic style? What did your spouse say to you?

 

Breastfeeding Support with Fairhaven Health

Disclosure: I was provided with samples to facilitate this review; all opinions expressed are my own.

With Grayson's 1st birthday fast approaching there are so many developmental topics I've wanted to share which pass through my mind while I'm busy during other things and then I look up and another month has passed and we've moved onto something else. One area that I really want to follow-up on is mine and Grayson's breastfeeding relationship. It is amazing how different a nurser Grayson is. While digging through Nia's medical records for Kindergarten registration I came across her growth chart and found that it was similar to Grayson's. Specifically, they were both 17lbs at 10 months old. Grayson's current pediatrician is alarmed however, and has suggested we give him soy formula. I've been hearing this "alarm" for a while and in the midst of the constant barrage of blog posts coming forth about moms and breastfeeding/formula guilt, I decided that when Grayson recently dropped several ounces, something Nia never did, I would follow the pediatrician's advice and try soy formula. 

Grayson nursing on our recent cruise (bra by Bravado)

Well, little man is NOT having it! With my supply waning and my upcoming cruise with my mom I think this may be a natural time to wean (remember when I went away to wean Nia?). I will be pumping while on the trip and Fairhaven Health recently a supplied me with their Breastfeeding Essentials Bundle (retail price: $66.95) to support my breastfeeding efforts. 

Fairhaven Health's mission is to develop products designed to safely and naturally promote fertility, pregnancy wellness, and breastfeeding success. They are based in Bellingham, Washington and have been providing support to parents and parents-to-be for years, helping them reach their goals from fertility to breastfeeding. 

The Breastfeeding Essentials Bundle includes:

1. Milkies Nipple Nurture Balm - Help soothe, protect, and heal sore cracked nipples with this 100% organic lanolin-free balm. Recommended by lactation professionals all over the country.

2. Milkies Nursing Time Tea & Tea Ball - This all-natural tea helps nursing moms increase milk production and soothe digestion in mom and baby. The loose leaves ensure freshness and nutritional support. Brew it up nice and hot using the Tea Ball provided.  

3. Milkies Milk-Saver - Make sure to never waste a single drop of “liquid gold” with this ingenious invention that collects breast milk leaked from the non-nursing side during the breastfeeding session, and store it for later!

4. Happy Bottom Baby Balm - This ultra-moisturizing balm contains a blend of colloidal oatmeal, cocoa and shea butter, and organic oils that soothe baby’s bottom naturally.   

The Milkies Milk-Saver is my favorite item in the bundle. While I use nursing pads to prevent leaking through my clothing, I've always wondered if there was a way to keep that milk instead of wasting it. This invention solves that issue! Simply slide it into the non-nursing side and collect milk in a special BPA-free reservoir. I use it with Grayson then simply put it in a bottle that I'll add to later when I pump or milk baggie to freeze it. It even has a stand that it can rest on to prevent it from tipping over! 

I've also found the loose tea a tasty and soothing way to relax and boost my supply. It contains fennel seed and blessed thistle, known for increasing milk production - I like to add a bit of honey in mine! Grayson also has 8 teeth which he uses to bite me (he's even drawn blood) so the Milkies Nurture Balm has been a lifesaver for my sore nipples. For Grayson, he's always scratching his bottom during diaper changes so applying the Happy Bottom Baby Balm has given him relief for his dry skin. Thankfully the eczema he experienced so badly before hasn't come back, but this has been great to use since then. 

There are so many other well-researched and curated product offerings to help you or the mother in your life including a Pregnancy Bundle as well. Be sure to visit Fairhaven Health's online store here and like on Facebook and Twitter for latest product news. 

How did you find support in your breastfeeding relationship with your baby?

Extra Gentle Eczema Relief with Weleda White Mallow

Disclosure: I participated in an Influencer Activation on behalf of Influence Central for Weleda. I received product samples to facilitate my review as well as a promotional item to thank me for my participation. All opinions and reviews are my own.

We're a family of sensitive skin and Grayson has suffered from eczema since birth (remember his super peely skin?). For those of you who have followed my monthly updates, you've either seen it directly in his pictures or when I ask about remedies. We've tried so many topical products and right before we left on our cruise I reached out to Grayson's pediatrician for an allergy referral as I was beginning to suspect my breastfeeding diet could be causing his flare-ups.

Thankfully we received a few answers yesterday, but this past month we've also found relief with Weleda's White Mallow line. I was first introduced to Weleda 3 years ago using the product line on myself and Nia, and I was so impressed by the brand's heritage reaching back to its inception in 1921, as well as its commitment to safe, plant-based products for all ages. While I've used other Weleda products, the White Mallow line especially formulated for sensitive skin and awarded the National Eczema Association Seal of Acceptance made me confident in using it on Grayson. 

My baby has sensitive skin

We received three products from the White Mallow line to review: Body Lotion, Face Cream and Diaper Rash Cream. I have to be honest: thoughts of marshmallows popped into my head when I learned the name of the product line and ultimately, it was worth it because after continual usage that's how Grayson's skin started to feel! Made with extract of white mallow, it's soothed and calmed Grayson's flare-ups and I appreciate the light scent and how easily it smoothed onto his skin, but wasn't too watery. It also contains coconut oil. While Grayson used to have heavy eczema on his cheeks and neck, he's since outgrown it so I didn't have to use much of the face cream. His diaper area however is typically super patchy, as are chest and arms. I've used certain products in the past that irritated his skin despite being touted for use on sensitive skin, but seeing how he jumps when irritating products touch his skin let me know it's his reaction that I should trust best. With the White Mallow line Grayson had a pleasant response and after continual usage his skin has shown improvement. 

You can even see it in his month to month photos:

A few extra ounces doesn't hurt either!

While we still have to sort out his diet restrictions around his 1 year old birthday (for now I can continue eating as I normally do while I nurse), I'm relieved that we didn't have to resort to harsh topical steroid creams which are often the case with eczema. A baby with calm skin is a happy baby!

To find Weleda near you and learn more be sure to visit their website and be sure to ulitlize their 20% off code WELEDABABY when shopping online (expires June 15, 2015) and can also be found at Whole Foods Market, buybuyBaby.com and select natural health food stores.
 

Happy Labor Day and Undercover Mama Winner Announcement

Happy Labor Day! We're on our way back from a fun weekend in Portsmouth, NH but wanted to pop in with a quick announcement of the winner of my Undercover Mama giveaway:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Congrats Kalley! I'll be in touch via email shortly so you can get your prize.

Enjoy the rest of your holiday weekend everyone!



P.S. Just another friendly reminder please don't lie when you enter giveaways - I can verify entrants! Was bummed again to have to disqualify entrants on this giveaway.

Celebrate Breastfeeding with Undercover Mama (and a Holiday Weekend Giveaway!)

Disclosure: I received an Undercover Mama Nursing Shirt for review purposes; all opinions expressed are my own.

How is it the end of August already? As the weather's been fluctuating here from fall-ish as it was last weekend to full blown hotness as it is now, for me it's been a lesson in keeping cool while nursing. August is National Breastfeeding Month and it's now Black Breastfeeding Week, and I'm today I'm sharing a bit about my experience breastfeeding the 2nd time around . . .

Gray day 2 in the hospital - ready to nurse!

Gray is a nursing champ. Plain and simple. Once he was born within minutes he latched right on, and while it took a couple weeks to get used to the feel of nursing (thank goodness for nipple balm!), we've been off to a great start. He is a very focused nurser and not easily distracted, but boy does he get super hot while nursing! I haven't covered up as much this time around mostly because I don't care to and also because it makes him sweat so much. I find nursing to be much easier the more comfortable I am.

That's where Undercover Mama comes in. 

I saw their Nursing Shirt featured around social media and was thrilled when they reached out to me to give it a try. Basically, it just turns any shirt into a nursing top by connecting to your bra. You should've seen Mr. Lovebird's face when I tried to explain it him. He went from confused to enlightened and agreed it's a pretty awesome concept! I selected grey not because of Gray (!) but because it seemed the most neutral for my wardrobe especially as fall approaches. Below I'm wearing a regular scoop neck shirt that I haven't worn since the beginning of my pregnancy - I simply attached my Undercover Mama Nursing Shirt to my nursing bra and I was all set:

Here's a video of how it attaches:

Clever, right?

I like how it immediately expands my wardrobe beyond the requisite nursing tanks/button down tops and how it covers my postpartum tummy when lifting my shirt. I'm pretty confident about my body but am not quite where I want to be (about 10 lbs to go all concentrated in my mid-section!). Also, made out of 95% combed cotton and 5% spandex it's super soft and lightweight. The last thing I need is added bulk! When ordering your Undercover Mama it's recommended to get one size smaller than your regular size. I was a bit concerned at first, but it turns out this is perfect - it fits snugly yet comfortably.

Undercover Mama is also ran by moms (hooray for mompreneurs!) and they've generously offered one lucky Harlem Lovebirds reader an Undercover Mama Nursing Shirt! The giveaway starts today and ends on Sunday, August 31 with the winner announced on Monday, September 1. Enter via the Rafflecopter below (open to U.S. & Canada residents only). 

Good luck!:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

What was/is your biggest challenge when breastfeeding? How did/do you stay comfortable?



P.S. I love how inside the package is a business card-sized thank you note for nursing in public to help raise awareness! They actually sell the cards here which are great to give when you see another mom nursing in public.

Life With Gray: 1 Month Old

Yesterday we headed into the city for Gray's one month doctor's appointment - it was a family affair:

I cannot believe how this little guy's grown! I remember Nia's growth escalated pretty quickly but Gray's measuring a month ahead of her (and she's still nearly off the charts herself). He's quite the hefty boy! Check out the full recap for more details:

• Baby's Weight: 11lbs, 1oz - he was born 8lbs exactly and lost a bit upon discharge; 48 hours later at his first well visit he had gained 13oz already

• Baby's Height: 22" (he was 20" at birth)

• What size of clothing does baby wear?  Gray can still fit into some newborn clothes, but 3 months fits best; he's mostly been in his sister's hand-me-down newborn gowns anyway!

• Any milestones baby reached during the month: We gave cloth diapers a try a bit earlier than we did with Nia but with his skinny thighs we're going to formally hold off since blow-outs are epic. Since this is our last baby we won't be investing in newborn cloth diapers - we'll just use conventional diapers until he gets thicker. Also during tummy time he can turn his head from side to side; he's also started cooing - you can hear it a bit in this video (which was shot by Mr. Lovebird vertically - a pet peeve of mine!):

• Special outings baby had during the month: If you follow me on Instagram you see I've been tracking our birthday party attendance this season, and he went to his first two weekends ago - I keep him bundled in his Moby or in his carrier to minimize others touching him!

• What are your thoughts about the past month? It was definitely made sweeter by an easier recovery than last time (full birth story to come). I feel like I took great care to cherish the newborn stage, but had a bit of sadness with Gray as I did with Nia reflecting on the dependency of a newborn especially during a moment when I noticed Gray had an eyelash in his eye. It's a moment I remember having with Nia as well. I know how annoying it can be to have an eyelash in your eye, but the fact that there's no way for him to specifically communicate it and as with Nia, Gray didn't cry about it or show visible discomfort made me sad. I know it sounds strange, but that's how I feel!  

• What was baby's routine? We're up for the day around 8a.m. (although Nia tries to get us up earlier), and he eats every hour unless he's sleeping, then I'm engorged. As with Nia, I feed Gray on demand. I don't feel like he's awake as much as Nia was though. He's a pretty drowsy baby and prefers to sleep on me even crying in the Moby so I can take him out and still hold him so most of the day I'm holding him asleep or nursing him. Part of me doesn't mind especially because he's my last baby (Lord willing!). His routine also involves a lot of spit-up too. He spits up much more than Nia ever did. I can count the times on one hand that she spit up her entire life, but he spits up multiple times a day. He's gassier in general and we've found a bit of relief with Tummy Calm. Between 12-3p.m. he's sleeping, and I usually am too. Nia helps keep him entertained while I'm trying to make dinner then when Uka gets home he plays with him, we eat around 6/7p.m. and he stays up with me and Uka until we crash between 11p.m.-midnight. Throughout the night he moves from his co-sleeper to our bed depending on his appetite/dirty diapers. If we fall asleep while nursing and he gets hungry again instead of crying he's now learned to swat my boobs. Kinda funny, but alarming!

• Reflect about the highlights of the month: Definitely seeing Gray with Nia. We've had a few scary moments as she likes to rough him up sometimes (think love taps!) and do some acrobatics a bit too close to him, but overall she is very sweet with him and adores her

• Did any big changes occur?  We've already started laying him in his crib to nap occasionally. We didn't do that with Nia for a while, but since we have two floors and the kids will eventually share the 1st floor nursery it's good practice plus Nia loves it when she's falling asleep too

• What are baby's favorites? Nia is Gray's favorite person. He looks at her so intensely, following her with his eyes and even calls out to her in loud coos - we love it!

I have to ask: who do you think he looks like? At first I didn't see resemblance to Nia, but now I do especially when I watch her one month video. 



P.S. Click here to see Nia's one month recap! Wow how time flies!

Lovebirds' Belated Summer Plans

Since I spent the first part of the summer waiting for a certain someone to arrive we got a late start on summer plans. I'm usually all Type-A making my summer bucket list as I've done in years past, but there's a big difference between a baby that arrives on June 16 (Gray's due date) vs. June 27 (running into Independence Day) not to mention the difference it makes in mama's recovery, which is going much better than the first time around BTW (yes, birth story still forthcoming . . .). 

My daily uniform this summer! 

Anyway, here's what we're up to this summer:

We start the week with circus class! Remember I reviewed it here? Once Gray made his arrival I was able to confidently sign Nia up, and she's been loving the classes. Gray and I sit in the lobby while he usually sleeps then wakes up right at the end of class to eat - never fails!

Next, we do soccer. It works well since I can park adjacent to the shaded field where Nia and a few friends run around and kick soccer balls. I wish I could grab a pic but I stay in the car with Gray who once again eats during class. I'll try to get a pic after his immunizations coming up soon . . .

Wednesday we take a break and stay home in our PJs, and it is GLORIOUS! We usually do activities like this and this. 

Yes, that's a sticker on Nia's forehead!

We end the week with soccer and circus on the same day then starting this week we'll begin 6 weeks of woodworking class. Nia took a trial a few weeks ago, and I'm so excited they added a morning class. I find we do much better if we can get out early besides trying to find street parking during rush hour is a real pain. 

Next month we'll continue with woodworking class and add piano back into the mix. Nia was adamant about not continuing with ballet, but I'm glad she stuck it out! I had hoped to introduce swimming too this summer, but our local pool is on hiatus with lessons this season. 

Our philosophy has been to do 2 activities at a time, and so far it's working out without feeling overwhelmed. For the most part we're on time of our activities and the worst lateness we've had is 17 minutes late for soccer the first week but hey, when Gray has to eat he has to eat! I love that Nia's pretty understanding of this too. 

Regarding trips I was hoping to make it to BlogHer next week, but I think it'd be a bit overwhelming to go to CA with a 3 week old (like I said a BIG difference between a June 16 vs June 27 arrival!), so I'll be staying home and following hash tags from far. We did want to have some kind of getaway so Mr. Lovebird booked us a trip to one of our favorite cities:

via @danyl_too_ready

YES! We're taking the whole family to Vegas Labor Day weekend. We used to look at people who took their kids to Vegas and stared in disbelief, but after we first went to Red Rock sans kids for Blogalicious in 2012 and again last fall we saw so many families and thought it'd be doable. It's a very kid-friendly property far removed from the usual questionable things you see on the strip plus they have reasonably priced child care if Mr. Lovebird and I want to step out for a bit. Gray will be immunized by then, and having traveled with a nursing baby before I'm not nervous about flying. We're looking forward to hiking with both of them as well as taking Nia to a magic show (she's been talking about magic since her cousin Robert performed a few tricks during our stay at the Can House!), and I'm hoping to sneak away for much needed spa treatments. 

To say I can't wait is an understatement! 

Now this means I need to seriously get on the ball with pumping (KellyMom is a wonderful resource). I have a pretty awesome double electric pump thanks to Klout and a slew of bottles to try/review so a full post on my experience is forthcoming. With Nia I only manually pumped and she pretty much fed on demand but this time around I don't want to be that tied down!

Besides Nia's classes and Vegas we have a bunch of Nia's friends' birthday parties to attend as well as hosting her own which will once again be super low-key (hooray for summer birthdays in the park!). 

I can totally see how this summer is/will fly by and soon enough it'll be time for Nia to start PK4. I'm thankful to have the time with both my little ones and look forward to spending lots of one-on-one time with Gray just as I did with Nia until she went to preschool.

What are you looking forward to this summer? Do you tend to start the summer out with a bang or end the summer with a bang?

Winner: Bamboobies $25 Giveaway!

{Image Credit}

Ahhhhh it was so refreshing to see just how Bamboobies are so well-loved - I really am quite passionate about them!

On to the winner of the $25 giveaway:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Congrats Laiken! I'll be in touch via email to confirm your prize!

And if you didn't win be sure to use the code HARLEMLB20 through the end of the month to get 20% off your order!



P.S. Stay tuned this Monday for another great giveaway to celebrate the official start of summer. Here's a hint: it's gonna help you look amazing!

Oh Bamboobies How I Love Thee! Review & Giveaway

Disclosure: I received Bamboobies products to facilitate this review; all opinions expressed are my own.

Nia's last time nursing, May 2012

Breastfeeding is front and center in the news lately, and as I prepare for Baby Agbai 2.0's arrival I've been thinking about what type of breastfeeding relationship I want to have with him. With much of the (Type-A) things I do, I always think it best to have a plan, but be able to adapt accordingly. With Nia I nursed her for 22 long months. At about the one year mark I thought it would be perfect timing to stop however as she started walking and refusing solids she became even more attached to me so we continued. I breastfed Nia on an on-demand basis. I realize now what a luxury that was especially as my schedule has picked up substantially mostly due to my blog and opportunities it's generated. 

This time around I intend to pump more and have Mr. Lovebird involved in feeding our son. It will help me be able to try to maintain my schedule and allow more bonding time for my family.

While I was nursing Nia there were a few products I found essential which I shared earlier this week, and one of the top products I used were Bamboobies nursing pads! I quickly noticed how fast I went through disposable ones and leaks were still a problem so when I came across Bamboobies they were everything I needed in a nursing pad: super-soft, absorbent and reusable. Very high quality, they're made of organic cotton, bamboo and hemp and they're durable - I'm using the ones from the last go around to add to my new Bamboobies stash! The regular nursing pads are heart-shaped and super lightweight so they don't show through your clothing and the overnight pads are extra large and thick to keep you dry and comfy all night.

Bamboobies also sent their Chic Nursing Shawl (I selected purple!) which is made of organic cotton and bamboo. Extremely lightweight, it'll be perfect for nursing over the summer as well as serving as a stylish accessory when not nursing. Going from blasting AC to hot and muggy streets, I know this will always be with me and I can continue to wear it for years to come!

Are you breastfeeding or know someone who is? Bamboobies is generously giving one Harlem Lovebirds reader $25 (not including shipping) good towards Bamboobies products in their shop. From regular and overnight nursing pads, nipple butter and the chic nursing shawl there's something for every nursing mom!  Open to U.S. and Canada, the giveaway starts today and ends on Thursday, June 19 with the winner announced on Friday, June 20 (let's hope Baby Agbai 2.0 is here by then!). Enter through the Rafflecopter below.

Good luck!
 
a Rafflecopter giveaway

If you can't wait to win, Bamboobies is also offering 20% off your purchase with the code HARLEMLB20 at checkout through June 30, 2014.

Memorial Day 2013 (& Lil Love Bird's 1 Year Weaning Anniversary)

Her face sums up how I'm feeling!

Something about long holiday weekends make me tired! Do you feel like that? Plus it's been on-again, off-again rain and cold for the whole of "spring" here in NYC, and I definitely think that has something to do with my recent lethargy.

We kicked the holiday weekend off with date night . . .

Star Trek is hands down the best movie of the year - IMAX 3D is a must!

Followed by some fun daddy/daughter moments . . .

Stopped by the Sweet Spot Festival  . . .

Thank you Foster Grant for Mr. Love Bird's sunglasses! (full review to come . . .)

Annnnd I have to mention it's Nia's 1 year wean-a-versery - the past year has flown by, and it really wasn't until this past February when she spent over a week with her cousins that her eating finally became normal. Before then, she'd peck over everything like a little bird and since then she's been eating consistently and packing on the pounds (or the "heft" as we call it). I've Instagrammed how she's still obsessed with boobs and loves to put her hand down my shirt and part of me is curious what will happen in the distant, far-off future when (perhaps, maybe, someday) she has a sibling and sees him or her nursing. Will she get jealous? I'm in no way anxious to find out, but I am curious . . .

Anyway, perhaps my favorite Memorial Day weekend was when we went to Arlington National Cemetery. It really was moving and something I highly recommend doing at least once in your life. You can see our visit here. 

 

P.S. We had a bit of a scare yesterday when someone threw something lit down the trash chute causing a small fire and interrupting our eating festivities and our first guest's visit - we hope we didn't scare her away! LOL! Thankfully, everything was fine, but it definitely threw us off (and Nia enjoyed seeing the firetrucks).

How I Weaned My Toddler

My big girl (that's a tattoo on her arm!); when I ask her if she "drinks boobies" anymore she laughs and says, "Noooooo!"

Nia turned 2 years and 1 month old yesterday (you can see the fun video I posted in honor of the occasion here), and rather than be annoying and continue counting Nia's age in months (drives me batty!), I've decided not to continue the Life With Nia series on this blog but am working on another fun way of documenting her development. Speaking of development, since Nia's weaned several months ago, just shy of 22 months to be exact, I wanted to share how it all went down. . .

Birth 

Post-nursing nap in the hospital after birth

I went into breastfeeding with the goal of making it to the 1 year mark - I had done a lot of research while pregnant and knew this was what I wanted to do. The benefits of breastfeeding to 1 year far outweighed any other option, and I was committed!

The first 8 weeks of nursing were so intensely painful. I had written before about why there was such a discrepancy between lactation consultants saying it wasn't painful and most of those actually nursing saying it was. There was definitely something fishy going on there! Hands down: nursing hurts like nothing else, at least at the beginning and at least for me. I found solace in Kellymom which helped me find a latch at last that worked. Also, one of the most honest breastfeeding posts that I can relate to over at Bower Power was something I wish I had read before I started breastfeeding. I posted the following reply:

6 Months - 1 Year

Nia's first time having solids at 6 months - homemade brown rice cereal

At the 6 months mark I felt Nia was pulling away from nursing as I introduced solids, and it actually felt natural to me at that point to wean but she didn't continue her enthusiasm with solids and then got sick and turned back to nursing more than ever so we continued. 

Nia at 6 months

I decided to start the gradual weaning process at 10 months knowing that at 1 year I wanted to be done with it. I fed Nia on demand, which I learned is the hardest to wean from, but with our schedule and her needs I found it worked best. I always thought Nia would show a strong interest in solids at some point, but it never happened. Actually when she started walking just shy of 11 months her demand to nurse increased substantially! We kept on . . .

1 year - 2 years

When Nia was 16 months old we went to Nigeria and with the challenges of international travel/food Mr. Love Bird and I discussed it months beforehand and agreed we'd continue breastfeeding. Honestly, it was such a blessing on the trip, but with my busted ankle and heat I really was worn down nursing on the trip and was quite agitated! Mr. Love Bird even (secretly) shot of video of me complaining about breastfeeding - I would post it, but it's really, really awful and makes me so embarrassed, but I was at my wits end at that point. I really felt ready to be done with breastfeeding especially with the impending move from Harlem to Jersey City we had once we returned (all with my injury). 

I had read that the bedtime feeding was typically the last to go, but for us it was the morning feeding. I remember calling my aunt and talking to her about how she weaned her 3 boys. She suggested I simply explain to Nia  - that the milk is "all gone." Surprisingly, this really helped to get us to the morning-only feedings and I actually preferred just the morning feedings.

From the beginning Mr. Love Bird and I had a "no baby talk" policy (much to my mother's chagrin!). We talk to Nia just like we talk to each other and I guess I should have figured it out sooner that I could simply "explain" weaning to her. Unlike stories of babies/toddlers who self-weaned, I could tell that despite me explaining Nia would just keep going and although mornings were fine since we got it outta the way and kept on with our day, knowing that I had overnight trips planned (BlogHer and Blogalicious) I needed her to be completely weaned. So . . .

Over Memorial Day weekend I sent her away. 

I got the idea from a friend who had a friend with a toddler who weaned this way. She was the one who actually went away to stay at a local hotel for the weekend for some pampering while her mother and husband stayed at the house to be with her daughter. When she returned her LO was weaned!

I arranged with my parents to have Nia in Baltimore over the long weekend. I took her down on Thursday night and the following morning before I left for NYC this was the last time I nursed her:

I had heard that many mothers cry during the last breastfeeding session, or post-weaning but instead I felt ELATED and relieved that this would be the last time! I was grinning pretty much the whole Megabus ride home.

Mr. Love Bird and I ended up winning a Zip Car for the long weekend and had a packed schedule. We went to every borough in NYC visiting our friends and it was such a fun weekend, however I was painfully engorged after about 24 hours which I was surprised about especially since I was only down to the morning feeding. I did fear mastitits but thankfully didn't get it. I took prescription strength ibuprofen for the pain and slept on my back throughout the weekend. It was extremely painful but worth it knowing I had weaned at last.

I went back to Baltimore to get Nia on Memorial Day and we came back Tuesday. She asked a few times to nurse and I deflected her and after a few fits of crying that week she was fine. 

What really helped while she was with my parents is that they took her to Columbus, Ohio my hometown. They kept her so busy and around her older cousins that she fit right in seeing them eat and she did too. My parents said they co-slept with her and throughout the night she'd wake up trying to nurse them! My dad even shared a picture of him up at 3a.m. blowing bubbles to keep her distracted from trying to nurse. Thank you Daddy!

It really was a family effort to wean. 

Since weaning here's what I've noticed:

• Nia mourned weaning and started acting out; lots of hitting, screaming tantrum-ing. She seemed generally less happy than she used to be. She just started calming down in the past month.

• Nia's picked up eating solids and now drinks so much cow's milk we had to cut back sometimes only giving her water with protein powder in it.

• I didn't go through crazy weight gain; I've stabilized at less than my pre-pregnancy weight which I think is due to all the physical activity we've continued with going out and about NYC - we keep it moving if you can't tell!

• It took about 5 days from the last day I nursed Nia for the engorgement to go down; breastfeeding definitely took a toll on the perkiness of my breasts (before breastfeeding I heard time and time again it was just pregnancy and aging that did this NOT breastfeeding; I, and Mr. Love Bird, beg to differ!)

• I've reconsidered my thoughts on feeding on demand; baby #2 (and maybe beyond) will not be fed on demand past the first few weeks. As my mother did with me and my siblings, I will work towards getting a feeding schedule implemented early-on.

• I had read that mentally it can cause the onset of depression for the mother when weaning; I did not experience this. It has been very freeing to be done with breastfeeding! I'm more upbeat, if anything. 

So that's my toddler-weaning experience! Of course, every mom is different, but this is what worked for me.

Here are my favorite thought-provoking articles/posts to share on the topic of breastfeeding and extended nursing:

• You Aren't STILL Breastfeeding?

• Answering Objections to Nursing in Public

• A mother posts about her experience with BLW (baby led weaning): It's food time!

• From a dad's perspective: Breastfeeding and Sex: Is Latching On a Turn-Off?

• Toddlers Do Wean

• I'm Still Pregnant & The Breastfeeding Police Are Already Judging Me

• Worried About Breastfeeding? Don't Read This

• The Ugly Truth About Breastfeeing - What No One Wants to Tell You

• 10 Biggest Mistakes Breastfeeding Moms Make

• Breastfeeding Isn't All It's Nipple-Cracked Up to Be

• Sibling rivalry and extended nursing is discussed in Baby Dickey's post Sibling Rivalry: Ryan's Adjustment to Rebecca {This post really made me cringe especially because Nia is so protective of me even when Mr. Love Bird hugs or kisses me - I can't imagine how she'd react to her little sibling being close to me!}

• My Kid's Breast Friend; Why I might still be nursing at 48 Months

• Joanna Goddard of Cup of Jo discusses weaning and depression in The Hardest Two Months of My Life

• The 12 Breastfeeding Days of Christmas - lists 12 gifts that would rebuild our shattered breastfeeding infrastructure as a culture

• When Breastfeeding Doesn't Come Easy lists many resources

• It Happened To Me: I Breastfed My Child Until She Was 4
• This quote from the post is spot-on: "Turns out folks are pretty invested in seeing other people make the same parenting choices they themselves made, or plan to make."
  

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Have you nursed to toddler-hood or considered it? What was your experience like?