July Feature: I'm on Work Like a Mother Podcast!

Today I look a look at my schedule and realized the summer is basically over! One stop in Staples and seeing all the school supplies perfectly lined up seemed to solidify that. 

It's been quite the hiatus here in this space! I'm most active on Instagram - specifically my stories - but am excited to share that I was recently featured on Work Like a Mother Podcast produced by Neighborhood Schools. 

Check it out (you can also search "Work Like a Mother on Spotify or Apple too!):

Here's a link to the summary transcript here! 

I'm excited to be doing a lot of cool projects offline, but please check out my personal website Quiana for all things brand me. 

For now I'm settling into 2 more weeks of camp for my kids then a few fun family adventures as things continue to re-open and we safely reunite with family and friends across the US. 

Safe travels to those of you traveling this summer as well!

Kicking Off 2021 with MEFA's U.Fund 529 College Investing Plan

Disclosure: This post is sponsored by MEFA's U.Fund College Investing Plan; all opinions expressed are my own. 

A New Year feels like a fresh start and 2021 feels like it is even more so than years past. In place of traditional resolutions, I like to create a list of 10 things I’m looking forward to each year and this year it definitely looks different. 2020 reinforced how important our family connections are as well as the importance of forward thinking. In sponsorship with MEFA's U.Fund 529 College Investing Plan, I’m sharing three things I’m looking forward to this year that center around our family’s plans for the future.  

Zoo To You with MEFA’s U.Fund College Investing Plan

Disclosure: This post is sponsored by MEFA's U.Fund College Investing Plan; all opinions expressed are my own.

One of my family’s challenges this season has been staying engaged with many of our favorite sites including our local zoo. Thankfully, ZooToYou, brought to you by MEFA’s U.Fund College Investing Plan, brings the zoo experience right to you via Facebook Live!

#TBT Decade Edition: Happy 10th Birthday Nia!

Left by my BFF Julie McGee; Right by Sweet Escape Photography

 

Yesterday, my Nia turned 10 years old! I originally shared this caption on this Instagram post and wanted to capture it here on the blog too:

Celebrating in the Midst of Covid

*This post contains affiliate links; thank you for your support!*

A couple weeks ago when Grayson declared he was going to have a "dumb birthday" due to Covid-19, I set out to make sure that wouldn't be the case. I get that we're all having to make adjustments, but especially for the kids I'm saddened at how things have turned upside down for them.

2019 - 10 year vow renewal in Puerto Rico
{Photographer: 1982 Creative Studios}

 

Those of you who have been following me for years know how big of a celebration the month of June is for me and my family. Of course there's Father's Day and the end of school here in Boston - we ended on the 22nd (it was supposed to be the 19th, but they just *had* to tack on a Monday as a make-up snow day), and the complications of distance learning made it even more celebratory.

We ended the week with our 11th anniversary followed by Grayson's 6th birthday.

Here's how we made it a good week...

Mom-ing During Covid

Like Easter, Mother's Day 2020 was quiet and undocumented. I spent mine peacefully and was mostly left alone, but for 2021 I'm already plotting to get away solo for the whole weekend! 

In the interim my family and I are kicking off week 9 at home and week 8 of distance learning here in Boston. With 5 more weeks to go after this one (Lord help me!), it's been quite the test of patience and motivation. I've found the hardest part is imagining what the summer and beyond will look like, and rather than let speculation get the best of me (I tend to spiral into an abyss when I do), I've just been focusing on one day at a time.

2020: A Kevin McCallister Moment

Grayson meeting his Great Grandma Mary for the first time

A while back I was speaking with my Grandma Mary in Columbus, Ohio - my last living grandparent. I was lamenting over the fact that while there were a lot of positive things happening, I really would like for everything to pause for about 2 weeks so I could just breathe for a moment and catch up.

Yesterday, I called my Grandma Mary to check on her, and explained that it seems that I got what I wished for but in a twisted kind of way.

My Kevin McCallister Moment.

Hey June: Thoughts on Fun, Guilt, and Sponsored Posts

June is a celebratory month for my family, and I'll admit it's been hard in the wake of everything happening lately in the world to balance festivities while being concerned and informed. There's some level of guilt there, and I'm thankful to have finally started therapy earlier this spring to help manage it (amongst other things). 

What a Weekend: Wellesley, Wear Orange and DanceNastics

At Boston's Wear Orange Day

This past weekend ALL the things converged! Was it like that for you too? I had 3 annual events on my calendar: Wellesley's reunion, Moms Demand Action's Wear Orange Day and my daughter's dance recital. 

It was a lot so when I woke up Sunday early evening after a 3 hour nap it truly felt like a dream that I had made it (SUCCESSFULLY!) to the other side of all of those big events.

I'm deeply affected by sunshine so when I saw the forecast called for sun all weekend here in Boston it immediately made me feel like I was one step ahead of the game!

It made all the difference...

Self Love with The Baby Box Co.

Disclosure: This post is in partnership with Baby Box Co. which provided samples to facilitate this post; all opinions expressed are my own. 

Baby Box Co. joins parenting education with awesome rewards!

One of my strongest memories in my early months of parenting was scrambling to find as much information as I could about certain subjects that were challenging for me from breastfeeding to exhaustion. Fast forward years later and those resources are readily at new parents' fingertips thanks to The Baby Box Co. available for new and expecting parents in the USA, Canada and UK. 

Continuing to Raise Resilient Children

Saying that mothering through the current state of affairs is rough is a gross understatement. 

Literally, as a I type this the radio broadcaster is asking, "How are you coping with the avalanche of all this horrible news?"

Avalanche, yes.  

While it's tempting to put your head in the sand and continue to send "thoughts and prayers," going about sharing only tone-deaf posts of recipes, puppies and rainbows on social media, it's going to take more than that. 

Mom Boss in the Making? Join Me in NYC This Saturday!

I'm thrilled to share that I'll be speaking alongside at The Exchange presented by Moms Make it Work this Saturday, November 3 from 11a.m.-2p.m. As I shared in my Quiana in Action post, this year has really been shift for me as I've been transitioning to doing more outside of the blog including more speaking engagement and hosting events. 

My Cheeky Days Podcast Feature: Diving into Diversity

In February, when I spoke at Altitude Summit, I had the privilege of meeting Elizabeth of Cheeky Days who describes her blog as a meeting place and resource for courage, kindness, curiosity, and joy. 

On Resiliency and Peace: Our Second First Day of the School Year

I have been unsettled in the past year since we've relocated to Boston because my children have not been settled, but yesterday that changed.

Yesterday my 7 year old daughter Virginia, "Nia," started at her 6th school.

Pursuing Wellness with Nature Made

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Nature Made as part of an Influencer Activation for Influence Central and all opinions expressed in my post are my own.

One of the things I noticed when I became a mom is that my own health has taken a backseat to my children's. I've shared a bit here on the blog about some of my health challenges and throwing in a lot of life changes the past year, I'm working at getting better at pursuing wellness. Before becoming a mom I was an avid exerciser even getting up at 5a.m. for years Monday through Friday to make it to the gym. No excuses! Quickly those routines changed, but I've learned to now focus on those little things that I can control (I'm all about Kaizen).

Here are 3 of those "little" things:

Help! I'm Caught Between Hot Mess Mom and Organized Mom

At any given moment I have about 50 tabs up on two different browsers much to the chagrin of Mr. Lovebird. "You're destroying your Mac!" he tells me constantly. I try to explain it's a function of how my mind works, but he just doesn't get it. 

Anyway...

As I was browsing through my tabs, I saw I had two diametrically opposed tabs open:

From Toddler to Teen: Setting New Year's Resolutions with Your Kids

I've partnered up for another CoLab post with blogger Arnitris of Blessed be the Tie to present our tips on how to set New Year's Resolutions with your kids. We have kids ranging from toddlers to teens so we thought this would be a helpful post for you, especially as many of you move beyond resolutions and do actual goal-setting with your kids. 

I'm covering off on the todder/early elementary aged segment and Arnitris' tips for older kids are here.  

Here we go!

1. Assess – as the parent, reflect on how the past year has gone and what you want to accomplish in the new year: reading more books, increased family outings, regularly having dinner as a family etc.. While your child’s verbal skills may still be developing, it’s important to have conversations with them (as this demonstrates)! Try showing them pictures of themselves and talking about what’s happening.

2. Use resources – bringing in tools such as calendars and clocks to help explain time is a great tool especially for early elementary school-aged children. Melissa & Doug has several options to help your children understand the passing of time and in turn can help them set goals.

3. Engage – especially if you have an older sibling, bringing them onboard to get their input will help them feel empowered and have increased responsibility for their younger sibling(s). Ask them what they’d like to see their younger sibling do in the new year and turn it into an art project to make it hands on.

4. Be accountable – have a time to regularly check in and talk about your resolutions and accomplishments; set up a bi-weekly family meeting to talk about your project and look at your progress. Making an ongoing online photo album is a great way to commemorate your resolutions!

5. Show it & celebrate – set up a designated space in your home to showcase your goals; it can be on your refrigerator, or on the back of your children’s bedroom door. Hand-drawn images and affordable drug store prints are easy ways to visualize young children’s progress.



Happy New Year! Do you set New Year's resolutions with your kids or do goal setting? What works for your family?

This is What Raising Black Children in Portsmouth, New Hampshire Looks Like

With the devastating news from my home state of the decision not to indict the officers in the murder of Tamir Rice and seeing this post Mr. Lovebird showed me yesterday about the top 10 worst cities to raise black children, I wanted to share in pictures what it's been like lately raising our kids here in northern New England.

I've already shared my thoughts on our state's lack of diversity in this post, but this time around I'm not here for commentary.

I'm here to give you a glimpse of the types of things we've been experiencing here as a family:

We're at our local library a lot! 

Nia's holiday concert

We went to see the tree lighting at Market Square (a family pic here!)

So blurry but still a favorite daddy-daughter moment

Having fun at our Y

Our library always has great activities on early release days!

Grayson enjoyed starting with playtime at the Children's Museum of NH before hopping on the Jingle Bell Express! 

Illumination Night at Wentworth by the Sea

We hosted a gingerbread house, after-school play date

Kindergarten Holiday Party

She loves going for "sushi"

They had fun redeeming our Rumble Tumble prize (thank you to everyone who voted for us!)

I think they like it here!

A few other things we're looking forward to this season...

• A family-friendly First Day Hike

• Mommy/daughter day date to see Sleeping Beauty, a traditional English "Panto"

• Our library's lap time (for Grayson) and reading challenge (for Nia) starting back up soon

Grayson's Birth Story

Patience.

Thank you to my readers for having it!

At long last I'm sharing Grayson's birth story . . .

(I shared a truncated version of my birth story soon after giving birth with my acupuncturist, and I'm so thankful that I have an email record of it when everything was so fresh and it's what I referred to when writing this post.)

Grayson's due date was June 16, 2014, but I was prepared for it to come and go just like the first time around, and sure enough it did. My 5th wedding anniversary was June 26, 2014 and earlier that day I attended a blogging event in the city. Everyone was stunned that I was still waddling around, but I figured the activity would be good to get labor going. It was also Nia's last day of school so I made it back to Jersey City in time to pick her up and head home. The activity must've worked because I lost my mucus plug and started contracting strong enough to call Uka at work to tell him he might want to come home soon. This was around 5p.m. and as a precaution we let our awesome neighbors know Nia might be coming over that night so they were on standby. I also called my midwives who advised me not to use my arsenal of products to jump start labor and instead soak in the tub and let things progress naturally. 

After dinner Nia went to the neighbors and we got settled in bed then around 10p.m. contractions started coming 7 minutes apart. Because we were about 30 minutes from the hospital our midwife warned us not to wait too long to start heading to the hospital, especially because of how quickly labor tends to go with subsequent pregnancies. However, I really wanted to labor as long as possible at home. 

Now a quick pause to talk about the support of midwives . . .

The first go around I didn't have the option of a midwife, and while yes, a healthy baby is the obvious outcome most mothers want for their birth experience, this time around I also wanted to experience an unmedicated birth. I was genuinely curious about what my body was capable of on its own and based on my experience of a medicated birth the first time around, I honestly wanted to know the difference as well as have the ability to ambulate, which I hardly did when I had Nia. I believe having midwives would be the best way to achieve this desired outcome.

So I was laboring at home as long as possible and we finally made our way to the car close to 11:30p.m. Side note: while we had considered using Uber, we had only purchased a car a couple weeks before Grayson was born and I'm so glad we did! Unlike my first birth which was just a public transit ride to the hospital during which I wasn't in labor, this time in the car, the 30 minute ride seemed to double and I every bump and application of the brakes seemed amplified. It was such a welcome relief to get into the hospital doors, but I had to keep stopping during the walk to registration due to contractions. 

When my midwife checked I was already 6 cm dilated! I was so excited and thankful that I didn't have to experience the wretched contractions that Pitocin caused during my first labor. I had read natural contractions weren't nearly as strong as those caused by Pitocin, and I found that to be absolutely true. 

In addition to being able to ambulate, I wanted to have time in the birthing tub. I wasn't aiming for a water birth, but I knew for some women it provided a soothing experience. Not for me! I got into the birthing pool around 1a.m. and I was quite uncomfortable and became more of a "collapser" laboring in the water. Maybe I just needed to do more strength training, but similar to the first time around I had what felt like sea legs made of jelly. I remember my midwife telling me I could stand up and I adamantly told her I could not. Thankfully Uka was there to support me. I was also overheating during the time in the birthing tub and the cold compresses he applied to my forehead made me want to kiss him. I vividly remember thinking, "This is the best thing in life. EVER!" (The compresses, NOT labor!)

Once back in the bed we got to a bit of a stand still when I stopped progressing at 9 cm due to my "persistent cervix." I was also losing steam so my midwife gave me a mild sedative so I could rest. She later told me it was the equivalent of a child's dose of Tylenol PM or something, but it completely wiped me out! When I woke up I felt so refreshed and looked around the room asking how much time had past thinking it was only 20 or 30 minutes when it was more like 2 hours. They were so surprised that it had that effect on me!

I had no sense of time but before I knew it I was pushing under the guidance of my midwife who knew I had a 4th degree tear the first time around. The fear of tearing was holding me back and I was so thankful for not having to be on a clock - my body was able to progress naturally and my midwife even helped manually with my persistent cervix which made me writhe in pain, but I much preferred that to tearing. So much of labor is mental and I remember telling myself that I shouldn't let my fear keep me from meeting Grayson. I pushed with all my might (I have no idea how many times!), and at 5:51a.m. on June 27 he was born (this is also my BFF's birthday, and he came all the way from Manhattan to meet Grayson!). 

I was still a bit groggy from the sleep aid, but I remember when he was lifted up I couldn't get over how brown he was already! Nia took a while for her melanin to kick in, but Grayson had a reddish-brown tone and a full head of hair. Uka cut the cord and I was able to have skin-to-skin contact for over an hour, just like I had with Nia. Grayson took right to nursing and Uka and I joked that he looked like a little marsupial! 

My parents drove up from Maryland and met Grayson that night, retrieved Nia from the neighbors then brought her to meet Grayson the following day; we captured Grayson and Nia meeting in this video:

Lord willing, our family is now complete. 

Thank you to my husband and homeyloverfriend Uka - he was the most supportive, present and loving birth coach! Also thank you to my fantastic team at Midwives of New Jersey as well as Morristown Medical Center for their care (the post-labor massage was icing on the cake!) and for taking the pictures in this post.



P.S. Getting my pictures off the CD the midwives provided took me a while so thank you again readers for bearing with me! None of our laptops have a CD drive so I finally ordered an external one and transferred the pics to my MacBook.