|A quick self-portrait at almost 31 years old|
I've been thinking about how since I was a kid I've been super ambitious. I love entering competitions and taking on challenges, but it's always seemed I've never been good enough to take the top prize. A few examples:
1. Looking for Wendy Contest - I posted before how Wendy's is headquartered in my hometown of Columbus, OH and how I entered this contest on the basis that Wendy's is an international company so why can't Wendy be a face of color? While I made it to 2nd runner up and 1st runner up each time I never was actually "Wendy."
2. Travel Channel "5 Takes" - I sent a video audition for this show years ago when I was still living in Boston and feeling completely soul-crushed in my corporate job. I love to travel and this sounded like an amazing opportunity. I got a call back and went for the next round of auditions in NYC. While I didn't make it and the show has since been cancelled, it made me think that maybe there was something there that I should keep pursuing. . .
3. Modern Bride of the Year - Out of 2,500 applicants, yes, I made it to the top 5, but I didn't win the actual title. Not that I really wanted to - I was actually very happy to win the shopping spree. The magazine's since folder, but I use the items I won nearly everyday and they're a fun reminder of this experience.
4. NYPL Business Plan Competition - While hundreds registered for this competition, I was one of the few who actually made it to the end, submitted a business plan and subsequently was a finalist. Although I didn't receive funding, I was so happy to have an actual business plan at the end of this process and gain some much needed skills.
I'm not ungrateful or bitter about any of these experiences, and I recognize there were others behind me who didn't even make it as far as I did, but I can't quite help but notice a pattern of nearly making it to the end but never getting all the way.
I want to go all the way!
Sometimes I feel like I'd almost rather not get to the next level at all instead of getting teased every time feeling like I'm almost there.
So what will I do? Just keep trying.