Thursday, October 14, 2010

Mommy Acronyms: Do I Have to Pick One?

As I prepare to possibly re-enter the corporate world I've been mulling over the mommy acronyms, mommy guilt, daycare options, etc. Boy, is there a lot out there!

A fellow Wellesley alum, dr., and mom of 2 recently posted this on her blog: 

"And that's what working parenthood feels like a lot of the time. Trying to do two important jobs in parallel, and half-assing both of them."

This is exactly what I've been concerned about since I was in college. I used to ask the mothers I babysit for who worked outside of the home what it was like and how they balanced it all. My mother worked past pre-school age with me, but I remember those early years of her being home with me, and I feel so thankful that we had that time together.

The reality now, especially with this apartment situation, is that Mr. Love Bird and I agree that it's time we start thinking about leaving NYC and by me returning to work will help us reach that goal much quicker. Having to move every year is a real pain and we just want to feel settled. Having our own place will help us be in control. 

So back to the title of this post "Mommy Acronyms . . ." 

I came across this post that spoke to the battle between SAHMs and WOHMs. I feel like as women we're constantly made out to be battling about something constantly and this is one more thing to add to that list. Honestly, "work" happens at home and out of the home so I really dislike this designation and I don't want to label myself as such. In the end, I appreciate this blogger's solution: 

"SAHM's/SAHD's/WOHM's/WOHD's - whiners. lets have a barbecue. We'll let the kids run around naked in the kiddie pool while we drown in margueritaville. Open invitation to those bringing kids."

I'm currently reading Getting to 50/50: How Working Couples Can Have It All by Sharing All. It discusses the balance of husband/wife duties when both parents are working. I'm not that far along into it, but I highly recommend it!

What do our readers think?


  1. OMG that quote totally describes my life! It even made me laugh a little because it just sums it up in words I didn't have before!

  2. My situation is different in that I work outside the home and my husband is a WAHD. I bring in the majority of the income though so I feel that pressure, the pressures of not being with my son and the pressure of maintaining the household. I still do the grocery shopping and cooking too. My husband does handle most of the cleaning, but you know men (in general) don't clean like we women do!

    There is also a little bit of jealousy on my part. Since our son spends so much time with Daddy, Daddy knows best. It kind of makes me feel inadequate at times. It doesn't feel right to have to ask your husband how best to get your son down for a nap!

    I don't mind the labels though because I know how much work is involved either way. I hold no illusions that being a SAHM is some cushy life. In fact, I know that lifestyle isn't something that is for me.

  3. hmmm Was your mom able stay at home the same length of time with all of your siblings? My mom stayed out of the work force for seven years (till I was in kindergarten). I am not sure that is an option nowadays. I don't think women should have to choose between working out side of the home and raising a family. I see SAHMs very miserable and I see WOHM very miserable. Its all in our ability to create a happy invironment for us and our families regardless of the situation. We give too much control of our lives to circumstances. Our circumstances should not dicate our joy. That comes fromm Christ. So whatever God allows us to face, we will be great and find the balance as we will allow God to lead us though the journey.

    My mom warned me that balance between husband and wives would never be 50/50 once you have children. I found it to be true for me too. I beileve in mother's instincts; somethings I just have to do becasue I like things done a certain way. Like her hair, I don't want Chris touching her hair. I like to pick out her clothes everyday etc. My husband could careless about a birthday party or dance class. I mean he will take her and pick her up, but RSVPing, keeping up with schedules finding a dance school etc is all on me. Its not 50/50 with us and I am ok with that. We found a healthy balance:-) Now Christen asked me to take her to HOME DEPOT today and I happily told her, "That is a daddy daughter outing:-)."