Thursday, July 31, 2014

Quiana, Mother of Dragons (or My 5 Truths About Being a Mom of 2)

Thank you to Mr. Lovebird for his photography skills!
I've now been a mom of 2 for a little over a month and the entire time this post has been formulating in my head. As most of my longtime readers know, since having 2 kids was a long time coming I have quite a few perceptions, and I've been cautiously comparing them to reality. 

Here are my 5 truths I've learned so far about being a mom of 2:

Spacing and age (of kids) does matter: I cannot fathom having a toddler in diapers at the same time as having a newborn. I know people have done it (including my own mother!), and I stand in awe. Having a preschool-aged child (Nia turns 4 in two weeks) has made being a mom of two much easier than it would've been otherwise. A few moms who have similar spacing had told me this before and now that it's reality I find that it's absolutely true. Nia is such a help, and it makes a big difference that she's nearly self-sufficient. 

Throw your to-do list out the window: As a Type A, get-it-done type of woman, hardly anything is getting done around here! Take that back - maybe 3 tasks get done each day. That is a takeaway from ALT Summit where Hilary Rushford and Whitney English shared in the Overcome Overwhelm Session that one can really only accomplish 3 major tasks each day. I've found that about right especially now. Some days those tasks are: drinking all the water I'm supposed to, taking my vitamins and getting a shower; other days it's cleaning the floors, doing a load of laundry and publishing a blog post. My standards are now substantially lowered.

Put Your Own Oxygen Mask on First: I have an entire post in mind based on this concept so eloquently discussed by fellow blogger Tara at The Young Mommy Life, but essentially it is a constant learning process especially now with two, to remember to engage in self-care. Leading up to my pregnancy I was getting back into the groove of it, but I've let it slide a bit. Now it's even simple things like scheduling beauty appointments for myself so I have something to look forward to or even taking a nap when Gray naps. I'm the better mommy for it too! I'm especially looking forward to my post-partum check-up with my midwife next week so I can get started at my new neighborhood gym I joined months ago and finally opened recently. Pre-kids, I used to be a 5a.m./5 days a week gym rat and while I doubt I'll get back to that anytime soon, I'm gonna get close! Besides I have Vegas coming up soon and gotta get ready...

Having Help is Crucial: I've felt more supported this time around and having Uka more physically present has helped immensely. Also, my community has been helpful as well and I'm especially thankful to those who have taken Nia out and about while I've been taking care of Gray. Since this summer is nearly over, knowing that Nia will be going back to full-time preschool is also a help unto itself (hooray for free PK3 & 4 in our city!). I appreciate having this summer together as well as classes I've been able to take her to, but I can tell she misses the social aspect of school. 

Making Comparisons Can't Be Helped: Perhaps this blog is to blame, but it's so easy to refer back to what Nia was doing as each stage (yes, I know it's only been a month!). Honestly, it even started during pregnancy: Nia was super active in the womb and was that way out of the womb (still is!) while Gray was chill in the womb and so far he is, much more so than his sister (Gray's full one month recap is here). 

As challenging as transitioning to a mom of two has been so far, it's definitely manageable, and I'm confident that I'm capable. I know the harried feeling starting out is temporary, and I'll get in my groove soon enough!

Any other moms of 2 out there? What are your truths?