Thursday, May 20, 2010

Baby on Board? Keep it Movin'!

I like to follow lots of other mommy/mommy-to-be blogs and while it's helpful to see what my peer-group is going through, the ultimate mom guide I look to is my own mom.

I'm substantially older than my 3 siblings (we're 8, 10 and 12 years apart), and I used to joke and say I'd never have kids cause I had handled every aspect of child-rearing except actually giving birth and breastfeeding. When my siblings came along I was very aware of my mom mothering (if that makes sense). I watched how she managed and did things around the house and I took mental notes. I also saw how she was supported by my dad as she worked her way through grad school and how my grandmother watched me and my siblings. Family support definitely made a difference.

As I get closer to the two-months-to-go mark, I think about how I'm going to cope with being a new mom and how watching my mom mother, my own experience with my younger siblings, and babysitting for nearly 100 children during college have prepared me.

When I do read many of the mommy blogs it appears that the moms get way, way, way too overwhelmed. And often they are moms of just one child. I watched my mom do it with 4 children and 3 of them relatively close in age, and I didn't see nearly half the breakdowns these moms seem to have in their blogs. My mom is quite Type A (which is where I got it from - I was born on her birthday!) and she had us all on a good routine and schedule growing up, and I plan to do the same with Baby Agbai and the rest of the Agbai children to come.

I also don't want to be the kind of mom who stops her friendships once the baby arrives. So many mommy bloggers say, "Oh it's so hard! I'm so tired. There's not enough time," but I vow not to abandon my friendships and hobbies once the baby comes. I know some of my mommy readers will say, "She has no idea!" but I'm one determined woman.

I saw the same thing happen to some of my peers who got in serious relationships and some who became engaged/married. They became so enraptured in their significant others, wedding planning and married life that they didn't maintain their friendships. When I became engaged and wedding planning ensued I continued to reach out to friends and have become a big fan of "pinging." It takes just a moment to send a quick IM, e-mail or voicemail to let my friends know that I'm thinking about them or just to say hi. It only takes a few seconds. Now that I'm married I still make time for my friends and get out to visit them. I can't wait to start wearing Baby Agbai and taking her along on my visits! She is not gonna be a home-bound baby.

Many people think getting married and having children is the beginning of the end. I say they're just new variables in the equation of life, and I'm gonna do my best to keep it movin'.


  1. I love that you are so determined to not end up a homebody after the baby! That determination will keep you going! I try to make it a point to leave the house with Izzy every day (unless the weather is bad), even if it's just to take a walk around the neighborhood!
    I don't have any "real" friends now, (Relocating, jobs, husbands, babies, etc, as you said in your post tend to get in the way) but I definitely feel that retaining your friendships will be one of the most important things you can do. They (along with your family of course) will be your best support system, and will help you keep your sanity when baby wants to be up all night, wont stop crying, etc, etc.
    Keep that determination, and don't let any negative attitudes take that away from you!

  2. @Christina Thank you Christina for the encouragement!

  3. I wonder if it is that the first one is so overwhelming and once you have a few more it gets easier? I had NO baby experience at all and no idea what to expect - a lot of things were overwhelming for me. When we have more, I don't think it will be such a big deal.

    I don't have family near to help me, but I am working more on incorporating my baby into my lifestyle...there is no need for us to be stuck in the house! I ran a 5K with him and he comes with me to my monthly book club meetings. It is a hassle sometimes, but not having a life outside of home and work is too boring!

    You can do it!

  4. @keyalus Wow! Congrats on the 5K; that's really inspirational =)